


Scarred

by glitterybluemagic



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-11-08 03:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11072901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterybluemagic/pseuds/glitterybluemagic
Summary: Deep and shallow cuts all over his chest and back, crisscrossing over each other. The burn marks on his forearms. Dark bruises littered all over his body. Not a single inch of him was left  unharmed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So i’ve always had this headcanon where warlocks do have scars but their magic ends up glamouring them if they can’t be healed completely. only when they truly exhaust themselves, to a point where all their magic is focused on keeping them alive, do those scars reveal themselves. and yeah i’ve always wanted to write about it…sooooo here it is! 
> 
> (idk if i wanna do a second part to this where alec and magnus really talk about it)

The loft was quiet. There was no music in the background, no clinking of glasses not even the soft padding of cats roaming around. It was as if everything came to a standstill the moment Magnus was hurt. He brought so much life to the things around him that, now that he was unconscious, they seem washed out. It was haunting. Even Catarina, who was sitting in the balcony, looked more grey than blue.

Seeing his body lying still on the bed was even worse. He wasn’t dead, thank the angels, but he looked it. The glow in his face was gone, lips pale, hair limp, the colours he wore were dulled down just like his magic. The only indication that he was alive was the slight rising and falling of his chest. He looked peaceful and so young despite the scars adorning his entire body. Deep and shallow cuts all over his chest and back, crisscrossing over each other. The burn marks on his forearms. Dark bruises littered all over his body. Not a single inch of him was left unharmed. 

“Whatever spell that seelie casted, his magic is working overdrive trying to fight it. His glamours are down, the wards keeping the loft safe are gone, all of his magic is focused on keeping him alive from the inside.”

Catarina already did everything she could. Now they had to wait. Hope against hope that Magnus was stronger. They knew he was, deep in their guts they knew he was going wake up but seeing the scars adorning his body, it made them doubt. How much more pain can one man go through? Why would he want to? Maybe it was better this way. No more hurt or pain or heartbreak. No more scars. Magnus deserved that. At the very least he deserved that. 

Alec sat beside the bed, pressing the warlock’s fingers to his lips. They felt so foreign. The warmth was gone. The coolness from his rings were gone. The tiny sparks of magic on his fingertips were gone. In their place were bumps of scar tissue, some fainter than others. There were a couple of small burn marks, probably caused by the splattering of his potions, and they were surrounding the multiple stab wounds in the middle of his palm, looking distinctly like those from a blade. With his other hand, he reached out to touch the faint scar slashed over his right eye.

His heart clenched. He knew Magnus has been through a lot. He’s been through wars, faced prejudice, been tortured for who he is and who he loves but Alec only ever saw a glimpse of his suffering. He saw it through his eyes when they talk about the hatreds of the past. He saw it when he held the man through dark nights where the memories of pain consumed him and left him empty till dawn. Seeing Magnus like this, it made it more real, not just stories.

Catarina made her way into the room quietly, glancing at Alec briefly before standing at the foot of the bed with her arms wrapped around herself. Alec wondered how many of those scars Catarina healed or saw being inflicted. He noticed her fingers picking at the skin on her upper arm and wondered whether she had any herself. He wondered if the scars glamoured themselves or if the warlocks choose to keep them hidden. Most shadowhunters wore their scars with pride. They symbolized strength. What did the warlocks see?

“He’s going to wake up soon, I can feel his magic pulsing,” she said softly.

Little jolts of magic went up through his arm. The hand he was holding, gripped his. Magnus woke up gasping, cat eyes wide and bright. He was like a firework, in the next few seconds, as he tried to make sense of his surroundings, colour started to seep back into the room. Everything became vivid again. Magnus was back. Relief washed over Alec and Catarina. Both wiping away the tears that escaped before looking back at Magnus with wide smiles.

“Hi,” his voice cracked.


	2. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashes of memories go through his mind as his eyes landed on different scars but most of them were just echoes of screams in the darkness, the digging of rope in his wrist, the licking of flames on his legs or just the sensation of warm blood trickling down his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know its been months...i'm so sorry!!! A lot has been going on but I'm back and hope i didn't lose my touch. I prolly did, i'm sorry, again. Okay so i realize that this isn't them really talking about things but i was writing and i was really feeling this hahahaha, but if you guys want a continuation to this, i'll definitely keep going :)
> 
> (idk maybe short chapter with catarina? or madzie? or the rest of the gang? or just of magnus and alec actually talking about things like what i said before?)

He watched as Alec and Catarina left the room, with relief and concern washed all over both of their faces. Hushed voices and the occasional clinking of glassware made their way to his ears, probably Catarina showing Alec the myriad of medicine he was supposed to take. Taking a breath, he sat up from the bed. Everything felt different. The sheets moved differently on his skin. Running his fingers up and down his arms, his body didn’t feel like his own. His usually smooth, soft hands were rough, calloused and littered with scars just like his arms. There were splotches of lighter and darker skin everywhere. 

His eyes wandered across the room and landed on the full length mirror peeking out from the walk in closet. He wondered how he looked. He thought of his Alexander, who wore his scars with pride just as the Shadowhunters before him always had. He thought of some of the Downworlders he treated over the years, some who were shamed for them and who hid away from the world and then of others who used them to gain respect. He wondered if he looked as monstrous has he feels during hard nights or if he looked just downright pitiful. He wondered if he even wanted to know.

Eventually curiosity got the best of him. He stood up and made his way over to the mirror silently. His silhouette from afar still looked familiar, but as he got closer and as light landed on him, he starts to see the deep gashes across his chest and the stab wounds on his abdomen. He sees the burns on his arms and legs and the faintest scar slashed over his right eye. Turning around, he sees the same stories written on this back as well. Flashes of memories go through his mind as his eyes landed on different scars but most of them were just echoes of screams in the darkness, the digging of rope in his wrist, the licking of flames on his legs or just the sensation of warm blood trickling down his skin.

“Catarina thinks they’ll fade as your magic returns,” Alec’s voices brings him out of his thoughts.

He nods slowly, registering the words spoken to him and turns around to face the mirror again. He expected Alec to walk away, uncomfortable with how he was behaving or with his appearance. Magnus wouldn’t fault him. He doesn’t know how to feel about it either. Instead Alec picks up his satin robe and walked towards him. Eyes locked on each other in the mirror. He holds the robe open for Magnus to slip into. The fabric no longer caressed across the expanse of his smooth back, instead it got caught on raised scars.

“Do you remember how you got them?”

“Some.”

Looking down, one of Alec’s hands was held out in front of him. Hesitantly, he reached out, letting their fingers intertwine, he focused on how the callouses from both their hands felt against each other. Alec’s hands moved up his arms, stopping halfway to breathe a sigh before planting a soft kiss on his shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” he whispered.

“I don’t know. It’s like I’m having an out of body experience.”

Chuckling, Alec turned him around to cradle his face in his hands, leaving another gentle kiss on his forehead. Magnus reveled in the warmth of his embrace, wrapping his own arms around his waist, wanting to be closer, burying his face in the crook of Alec’s neck. He feels grounded like this, with Alec holding him close. His far away thoughts finally coming back to him and the realization, that he almost lost his life, set in. He tightened his grip on Alec’s waist, as he recalled the agony he felt from the spell the Seelie casted.

“That spell she casted, it was like living through the pain of every time I was stabbed and beaten, every time I was physically hurt, all at once.”

“We’ll find her before she can hurt anyone else Magnus,” Alec promised.

Reassured, Magnus felt his body relax. Exhaustion crept up to him and he eventually drifted to sleep. Alec carried him back to the bed carefully, trying not to wake him. He wanted nothing more than to hunt the Seelie down, but Magnus needed him now. He’d be by his side when he wakes up again. They’ll work through this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr @glitterybluemagic

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @glitterybluemagic!!!


End file.
